Fairness for Kids
(sacramento, ca, usa)
Fair is Fair
When I was a child, my mother was very fair to me and my siblings. Every time it was one of our birthdays, the others got one small present to ensure there would be no jealousy among us. So on my birthday, my brother and sister would get one gift and on their birthdays I would get one gift. That way there was no fighting and we all enjoyed and looked forward to each other’s birthdays.
I never thought much of our little custom until I saw how crazy my niece and nephew were to each other on their birthdays. My nephew is now 2 and my niece is 5. Recently, it was my niece’s birthday and as she was opening presents, my nephew would grab them out of her hand and throw them or he would jump in front of her and open them himself.
It was at that moment that I realized why my mother had been fair and made sure the other kids never felt left out on the other kid’s birthdays. Giving one small gift to the other children while the birthday girl or boy opens their gifts preoccupies them and prevents them from doing what my two year old nephew did. It also helps the children feel excited for their sibling.
I also remember Christmas time being a time of fights between me and my sister. To ensure no fighting and hearing the words, “she got more presents than me!” my mother made sure we all had the exact same number of presents and that she spent the exact same amount of money on each of us. I truly appreciate my mother for doing things so fairly because it helped me become closer to my siblings because we all felt equal.
None of us ever felt like the other had better things or that my mother favored one over the other. It made us all very content and we all felt loved. My mom put a lot of thought into the way she parented. She was someone who was born to be a mother and she was a great one. I only wish that I can take my memories of her and her parenting skills and learn from them and try to incorporate them into my own life with my children.
Parents often think they are being fair when they are not. Not everyone thinks it through so deeply which is why I appreciate my mother and how she raised me. Everything was even. If one kid had a bite of ice cream, the other ones had to get a bite as well.