All For My Sons

by Chandranil
(Calcutta, India)

Always Happy With My Family

Always Happy With My Family

It is a story of my life during 2004-05 when I was working as a full-time employee of the Central Intelligence Bureau of India. I was posted at Gangtok of Sikkim and from Gangtok I was sent to Lachung, a village 118 km from of the North District of Sikkim. Since the place was a border-line area, we were not allowed to take our family’s with us. While I was in Gangtok, my wife was with me, but when I was transfered to Lachung I had to send her to Calcutta to my parents' house as it was hard for her to stay alone at Gangtok.

I was posted at Lachung for 2 years and I was allowed to go home only twice a year. The first time I went home was when my wife was about to give birth to our first son. The second time, my son was five and a half months old. The third time, my son was 1 year and 3 months old.

When I returned to Lachung from after being home the third time, I was heartbroken. I would sit alone at my check post thinking about how quickly my son was growing and how much I was missing out. My son was growing up so quickly and he barely knew me. I imagined my wife having to introduce my son to me because he didn’t know who I was. This was an especially painful thought.

Then and there, I decided to quit my job. But since getting a new job was not that easy in our country, I started to prepare for the competitive exams necessary for a new job all India closer to my family. At temperatures below the freezing point, I would study almost the entire night (till 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning) for next 8 months. In between, I applied for several central government jobs closer to home.

After 8 months, I went to my home to sit for 3 examinations. My hard work paid off! I qualified for all three. I was selected for 2 jobs and I was rejected after an interview from one.

Out of those two jobs offered to me, I chose the one that was limited to be posted in and around Calcutta. The pay-scale of that job was a little less than that of the Intelligence Bureau, but I felt it was work the pay cut to be with my family.

I’ve never regretted my decision. I have a great relationship with my son. I love my son. I have two now. Things have worked out really well for us. Because of my performance, my pay quickly increased to surpass what it was for the job far away from home. All for my son… Sorry, for my sons - I have two now!

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Love your decision!
by: Cathy

Hi Chandranil,

Your story really resonated for me and my husband. Both of us have transitioned our careers and now make less money so that we could be with our kids.

I gave up managing people and took a job working from home. I love being at home (while my kids are with our nanny) because I know that everything is OK. I'm there for emergencies and to nurse the baby.

My husband used to work for Price Waterhouse Coopers (consulting firm) and used to travel all over each week depending on where his current contract was. Now he works for a local company, earns less, but is home every night. The funny thing is that all of his consulting buddies think he is crazy. He got alot of pressure not to quit. He also has no regrets for doing so... our kids are growing up so quickly!

We don't want to miss out either!

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